Feeling like I always had to be everything for everyone every day was starting to take its toll on me. I was constantly tired, always busy with something, always on my way somewhere, never really as happy as I looked on photos. Until one day my body just gently but abruptly shut down.

Each joint in my body ached, my head was pownding and emotions uncontrolably flowed…disabling me to function like the machine I am used to. I was forced to sit down and regroup all the crazy little people in my mind. There was no choice in the matter really, so with pen and paper I started plotting my new game and my new approach to this crazy thing called life.

There are things we do that unknowingly sabotages us. They start little and subtle until one day you are completely consumed by them. Here is what I stopped doing, and it literaly changed my life. I am now in control of my own life and truly as happy as the photo-version of me

1. STOP comparing yourself to other people! I cannot stress this enough. You don’t have to be a spesific way to be valued or approved of. Be who you are, your own unique awesome self.

2. STOP being so mean to yourself. Think about the way you talk about yourself, before referring to your flaws in general conversation. Stop saying things like “I’m so stupid, I have no idea what I’m doing, I can’t do this.” Praise yourself and give yourself some well deserved credit.

3. STOP neglecting yourself. Paint your nails often, have long baths, take care of your health. If you feel good, you will be able to deal with alot of stuff better.

4. STOP relying on other people to make you happy. Every single person in your life will let you down sometime. But you need to make yourself happy, you need to be okay even if you are alone.

5. STOP thinking so much. Most of the things people say to you are not meant to cause harm, so there is no use walking around for days trying to place their words in a box that makes you less uncomfortable. Let it go, because they sure did.

6. STOP explaining yourself to everyone. You don’t have enough words in the vocabulary or time to try and make people see why you are the way you are. Those who truly love you, won’t need a personality crash course.

7. STOP making everything personal. Some people are just nasty, and they say things that hurt our feelings. It is much more a reflection of their own unsorted feelings than the pain they inflict on us. Move on.

8. STOP fixing everything. Unless you are a professional pshycologist, there is no need to spend hours and hours on someone else’s life crisis when you are falling apart yourself. Be your own therapist and fixer.

9. STOP being a softy. Sure, it is noble to be submissive and respecting towards others. But there comes a time where you seriously need to use your words and say what you feel and stand up for yourself.

10. STOP trying to be so darn perfect. So your attempt to diet failed. You did’nt keep your car clean for at least 2weeks like you planned, and you still haven’t baked the freaking banana bread and now you have to throw them out! It really really doesn’t matter.

The thing it all boils down to is that you have to stop putting yourself second all the time. It’s that simple.

I am sure many of you can relate to the few personal matters I have dealt with, and can probably add a few of your own things that you know you should stop doing.

Please feel free to comment with your ideas of what we could stop doing that could cause our downfall.

’till next time ‘yall

Maryke